 Our product development line is working on Combined Inspiration Devices, or
CIDs, to provide multiple benefits to our higher constitution users; for when that first punch just isn't enough. The combination
of these materials is potentially hazardous, so it has taken years to perfect this technology. Our current slate of Beta users have
had only three adverse events.
 New, TEMPETS®, a brand new product available from Arachnos Mutagenics!
Tired of waiting until your ability and strength of body and character are
advanced enough that you may have pets or minions? Wait no longer! With
our TEMPETS®, you can have this ability overnight, with 100%*
foolproof** loyalty!***
Currently, our models are limited by regulation to no larger than what can
be shipped via the mail services. Monkeys, seagulls, rats, and dogs are
available in Regular or Infected. These can also be used as refills for our
"Infected Monkeys" product line. Do not break hermetic seal until you are ready to use.
Preserved unanimated TEMPETS® are fragile, so handle with care.
*Percentile reflects sample size of one
**Beta Testing revealed that our user could not break it.
***"Loyalty" being defined as the pet not actively attempting to consume the
user.
|
Mutagenics in the News:
Should Have Stuck With Spinach
In a blatant trademark infringement, one of our pioneering products
(Musculex®) is being marketed in diluted form as a "new" discovery.
This level of low corporate espionage, especially by an institute of
learning of such prestige as Johns Hopkins, only points to the need for more
and better security in addition to other positive incentives such as our
pioneering "Employee First Dibs" on new product lines, making sure those
employees who deserve it get first crack at the world-changing potential of
our products. Who better to benefit from the new product than those who
worked hardest to make it?
|
Queen to Bishop Four...
In an escalation over deployables effectiveness, the Medical College of
Wisconsin is attempting to close off some of the more accessable routes to
mutagenic introduction. However, our new eye-contact line will move us ahead
in this game of chess, providing ready introduction with little possible
amelioration aside from constantly wearing goggles. Your move, Medical
College of Wisconsin.
|
Monkeys are Good
In a seeming validation of the Rikti infected-monkey strategy, scientists
and researchers verified that performing monkeys could be effective vectors
of disease. As a result, the Monkey-Borne Mutagenic Dispersion and
Deployment project has been greenlighted for public use with provisional
guidelines. In-base and sub-lair installations will provide a
pseudo-cryogenic hibernation chamber for sustainment until time of release.
Soon we will achieve our ultimate goal: no good operation will be seen
without a button specifically reading "release infected monkeys!"
|
Dead End Research
Unfortunately, we at Arachnos Mutagenics knew about this chemical long ago.
While it has proven useful in rendering the intransigent, it is useless for
soldiers in deployment. Worse than fearing your opponent is identifying
with and trusting your opponent. Our seven papers on this phenomena are
detailed in our full report "Don't Trust that Burning Icon of Darkness."
|
Materials Found
The lost shipment of one of our primary products has been tentatively located in a rural area of Massachusetts.
Currently, Harvard is doing an admirable job of disinformation in keeping the blame squarely on chlorination, giving
us time to pinpoint and extract the material.
|
|
